next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
