you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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