if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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