fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
