Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
