apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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