i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
