ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
