I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Drunk is not a location!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
