Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
