Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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