dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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