I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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