bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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