im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Mom said you looked used
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
