Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize