He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
