Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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