I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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