We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What a fucking waste of an outfit
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
