Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
