do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
