first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
