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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.

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• (408): View more from California

  I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.

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  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes

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• (425): View more from Washington

  If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.

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  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (219): View more from Indiana

  Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.

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