I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
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A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
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A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer