i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible