Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.

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  (757): I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton. http://tfl.nu/4m44
  Replies (59) Good night (2485) Bad night (1155)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore

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  (781): I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore http://tfl.nu/jp8t
  Replies (19) Good night (995) Bad night (4223)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser

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  (313): you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser http://tfl.nu/1hpm
  Replies (16) Good night (4558) Bad night (945)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.

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  (770): just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes. http://tfl.nu/9iko
  Replies (118) Good night (27799) Bad night (4849)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel

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  (432): the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel http://tfl.nu/t4be
  Replies (18) Good night (3591) Bad night (1379)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade

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  (717): It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade http://tfl.nu/l96w
  Replies (9) Good night (4692) Bad night (1176)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket

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  (919): and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket http://tfl.nu/744s
  Replies (2) Good night (3551) Bad night (1601)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?

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  (505): Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke? http://tfl.nu/u3od
  Replies (3) Good night (955) Bad night (1116)
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  (949): View more from California

  Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.

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  (949): Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza. http://tfl.nu/9evg
  Replies (8) Good night (776) Bad night (548)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall

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  (708): At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall http://tfl.nu/xpwv
  Replies (5) Good night (440) Bad night (922)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?

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  (206): sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches? http://tfl.nu/kl03
  Replies (6) Good night (1124) Bad night (484)
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  (818): View more from California

  I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.

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  (818): I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish. http://tfl.nu/82ma
  Replies (3) Good night (485) Bad night (829)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.

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  (303): He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter. http://tfl.nu/2d6a
  Replies (6) Good night (1442) Bad night (359)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.

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  (325): I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you. http://tfl.nu/9prb
  Replies (4) Good night (360) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea

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  (705): Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea http://tfl.nu/yqhl
  Replies (2) Good night (125) Bad night (348)

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