Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Randomize
