at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
