Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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