If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
okay pat passed out under dana's car
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
