HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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