can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
tonight lets celebrate not being married
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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