I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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