i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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