I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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