He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
