It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
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Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
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and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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