my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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