There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
