What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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