Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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