And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
id be glad to
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
