The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
