she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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