Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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