It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
