good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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