Me. At least after what I've been through.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
