I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
