I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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