were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
