it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I can feel your judgement through the phone
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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