Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
