Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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