i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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