Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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