Already got asked if we're dating
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
