It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
two words: eviction party
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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