Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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