my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize