nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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