Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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