my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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