I would go down on you faster than GM stock
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
