I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
