Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
