Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Someone shit on the floor
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
