i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
