week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
